he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Church boner. Awkwardddd
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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