Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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