Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
