He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize