two words...techno handjob
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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