After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
