Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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