can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
