There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize