just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My ass is underappreciated
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
