Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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