i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
