I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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