honey bunches of taint.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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