i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
