Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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