if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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