Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
