Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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