i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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