Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So squirting runs in the family.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
