Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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