C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
