I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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