so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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