I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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