'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
