it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
