How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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