I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
