I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
