Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
