I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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