everyone is single if you try hard enough
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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