And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
