what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
did you just send me my own nude
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
