She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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