He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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