I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
FUCK WHALES
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