I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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