Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
