his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
