his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
