I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
