He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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