But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
