so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
