At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He did a backflip because drugs
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