dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
