So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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