READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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