he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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