careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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