So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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